@Anita

I visited a therapist twice already , and he didnt actually give me a toolbox but helped me realise my fear is not rational , and to treat the bad thoughts as a background noise , you can check it , try to figure out what is it , but not to be afraid of it .

He told me emotions are a result of our thoughts , and i just need to figure out whats wrong .

Im sure that as soon as i can detach my thoughts from my girlfriend i can actually solve whats wrong with me , but that fear and that feeling something stuck in your throat , and when its not that then its that back feeling all over again just drive me nuts .

Maybe im bored , maybe routine hit me , but that has nothing to do with her , so why cant i detach my thoughts and feelings from her ? why cant i love her like i did a day before i started overthinking it ? ive been told it takes time but it is just so hard to wait for answers instead of looking all around for them .

I honestly just want to be like any other couple who knows when something is wrong and works on the issue , but instead im pacnicking and that effects every aspect of my life .

Were on the same boat after all , it only depends on whether i jump out and “save” myself or try to take out all the water inside (Which not even sure exist outside my mind) .

How can i stop looking at her without expecting that tight throat and weakness to appear ? because when im not expecting i feel better , yesterday after reading the comments here i was more calm , managed to work on stuff that related to me and had fun with my girlfriend , even though i didnt feel butterflies or whatever (Not like the beginning anyways , weve already passed that stage i presume) but then i did a quick nap before going out with her and friends and woke up horribly bad , overthinking got one over me and the night was bad , and when i woke up with her i just hugged her so hard because i was literally shaking .

A friend told me that even when im not with her , i think about her and thats not good , and i should focus on my stuff without thinking about how i feel or how i will feel the next time i see her , but its so hard .

What can i do to detach myself from those thoughts and actually work on myself ?