Dear Ali:

I want to  retell your story, it helps me understand better when I do that: your father was alcoholic when you were a child. At 17 you were stalked  and raped, got pregnant  as a result of the rape  and  had   an abortion.  You started college or university, worked, then your father got sick and you took care of him for a year. Taking care  of him while not working, you “went in the hole” financially, damaging your credit. After that one  year you started working again, built your credit but a scammer emptied your bank account the day after your boyfriend left you in the middle of  the night. After  that you left the state and currently live  in a different state for the past two months. You don’t have a job, are  running out of money and you have one  year of schooling left.

You suffer from  flashbacks as a result of the rape and stalking  of nine years ago.Neither therapy nor medication helped with your flashbacks and being “always on edge” and  “terrified of people”, “always crying”, and  feeling “disgusting and undesirable”.

You wrote: “I don’t have family or  friends”- is your father no longer alive? Your mother?

When you moved states two months ago, did that not disrupt  your schooling? And  if you move again, as you feel like doing, will that disrupt your schooling and expected/ hoped for graduation?

Another question: is there a support group or groups available where you live for women  who were the victims of rape and stalking, victims of sexual crimes, a group you  can attend for emotional and informational support?

I will soon be away from the computer for about sixteen hours (maybe longer). I would like  to read more from you,  understand you and your situation better. I hope other members will answer you as well before I return.

anita