Dear Eli:

Thank you for wishing me safety!

As far as dating and sex: never have sex on the first  date, second date or third date. If the man suggests to you to have sex on  the first date, the second or third, say No, clearly and assertively.  If the man then suggests to have sex with you after you said No, leave the date immediately (it is important that the date takes place in a public place so that you are able to leave immediately).

If the man does not suggest sex after you said No and you are on the 4th date with him, talk with him about what you want from a relationship, get to know him, communicate and do  not have sex until you know him better, which should take at least three months.

A man  who wants to use you for sex is not likely to have  the patience to wait  for three  months and go through the trouble  of sharing with you about his life,  his feelings, his hopes, his dreams; to listen to  you share,  and ask  you questions so to get  to know you better.

A man who  will date you for three  months without sex, who will  share  about himself and listen attentively to you sharing about your life, ask you questions about your feelings,  your hopes, what  you care  about, what  is important to you, that man may be the one  for you.

What do you think?

* I will soon be away from the computer and hope to be back in about sixteen hours.

anita