Dear Lily:

If you are referring to the same  therapist you mentioned before, the one who suggested you see someone else and didn’t get back to you, then I think she was not a good therapist.

Not all therapists are capable, many are disturbed themselves, impatient, distracted and so on. She asked “On a scale, how open are you with me?” I don’t think it is a good question to ask a client/patient. It is too easy for the patient to see an accusation in the question, that you are not open with  her. Plus the question  is vague.  A specific question would have made sense, instead  of this too vague question or statement. I think she was  impatient with you, did you get that  impression?

Mentioning Patience, you have to be very  patient with yourself. You are up against a very critical “inner critic”, a very aggressive voice in your head that keeps telling you that you mess things up, that you make  mistakes,  that you should have said this and  should not have said that and on and on and  on. It keeps making you feel distressed and discouraged.

It will take a lot  of you being  gentle and  patient with yourself, taking on small challenges in regard to relationships with other, not big challenges, aiming at a little progress at a time. over a long time. I hope the new year is  such a time  of gradual, patient progress for you.

Merry Christmas to you, and please do post any time you want. You can post every day,  you can not post for weeks and even months and  then post again. No timing  rules here, anytime  you want. I will be glad to read from you and reply!

anita