Dear Lily:

Merry Christmas to you. My day is fine and dandy, took a walk  outside in the cold air, now sitting on my reclining chair by the woodstove, nice and warm.

I hope this current therapist is much better than the previous one, and that she  will make it possible for you to  feel comfortable during the sessions with her, that in her presence, you will not feel crazy and weird. I would like to somehow make such an experience  possible for you in the context of this thread, that when you read from me and write to me, that you will  not feel crazy or weird.

I still don’t understand her question about being open with her, comparing it to how open you are with a friend. I think you are quite  open here, in  communication with me.

One thing that is  making your life  difficult is that you doubt yourself so  often, thinking that you are harming the person you are communicating with by saying the wrong  thing or not saying the right thing, the right way, and so on. This ongoing self doubting that is making your  life  difficult makes it difficult for other people who communicate with you to have an easy, comfortable communication with you.

I wish you therefore a flowing new year, less self doubt, more feeling of you being an okay human being, (not crazy, not weird, not a “toxic person”, see title of your thread).

anita