Dear Ella:

Your situation is complicated, just like you said, “it’s so complicated”.

When we are overwhelmed by the complication of a situation, our tendency is close our eyes to  the complications, to the unanswered questions and hope for the best. just like you wrote: “I would just like someone to tell me that everything is going  to fall into place”. You want a someone reading your short post,  based on that short post, to tell you that everything will be okay, this  is what I refer to as you wanting to close your eyes to the  complication.

It is crucial that  because of the  complications of the situation that you keep your eyes open, even more open than before while being calm. If you keep your eyes open but you are  anxious, you can’t think well and all that anxious thinking gets you nowhere. So the key is Calm, with  Eyes Open.

If you want to open my eyes to your situation, and maybe open yours further to your own situation, you can answer my following questions, if you would like:

You met him recently,  how recently?

You wrote: “They still fight over the house, kids are caught in the middle, it all affects their relationship with him”-

Is their divorce final, and if it is, how long ago has  it been granted and why is it that the property/house issue is not yet resolved (or is it)?

About how old are  his kids?

What did he tell you about his wife?

Does he have a part in the kids being caught in the middle and what  did he  tell you in regard to his kids’ relationships with him?

anita