Dear larem22387:

The key is to not panic. Something bad happened, but the panicking, that “spiraling to a very dark place” is not a must-happen consequence of that bad event.

Sex after getting drunk is unfortunately very common, and not something particular to bipolar people or people abusing sleep medications and so  forth. Relax best you can, resolve to avoid the particular circumstances that led to the event.

In the future, when you successfully avoid and prevent an event like this from happening (for example, you are in a situation where you are alone with a man and alcohol is present, you ask the man to leave or leave yourself), you will feel better about having learnt from what happened and prevented such from happening yet again.

Regarding your concern that this man will tell your supervisors what happened, remember that you can deny that it did. You don’t have to admit to it (maybe in church you do, if you choose to  confess), but you don’t have to admit to it to your supervisors because there is no benefit to doing so, not if you learnt from the situation and not repeat it.

anita