Hey

Quite a story. It sounds like you’re worrying a lot, which is understandable. Sex for women is very intense and so I think your entire emotional/biological system is planning for a longer term relationship with this man and so you’re thinking a lot because things will probably be changing, it’s the body’s way of triggering the mind into really thinking fully about what’s happening to make sure you’ll be safe….etc. Do you see my line of thinking, this is to give you an understanding of what’s happening to you.

Overall, I really wouldn’t label this as good or bad. I appreciate it isn’t ideal, are you more worried about what your boss’ are going to think of you in relation to losing your job? I would argue it will most likely have little to no impact to your career especially over the medium to long term. Plus Anita’s advice in a highly professional setting may be applicable, but it could also make you look like a liar if he does confess but from a professional stand point it’s none of their business really, especially if you’re all drinking, what do they expect happens?

It sounds sensible how you’ve left things but it sounds like you found out what you like in a guy and the qualities so maybe you could take that into future relationships?

Re. the spiraling into a bad place….can I ask what triggered the abusing sleep medication? Again though, this sounds like worrying and anxiety, is this of much use to you? If you can catch yourself doing this in the future you won’t have to waste your time worrying, it’s good you’re aware that you’re doing this.

Re. the religious point, sounds positive to get it out in the open.

Best of luck.

B