Dear unknown86:

You need people. We humans need people because we are social animals, born that way.

You wrote: “I’m not that really close with my family too, but the relationship between us is good, I just never told my personal problems, I kept them inside myself”-

then the relationship between you and your family is not good. Maybe it is not bad, but it is not good. If it was good, you would have told them your personal problems. I suppose you don’t and didn’t because you didn’t trust them to love you if you did tell them your personal problems. Am I correct?

You wrote: “since I lived with my roommate I’ve never cried and done my best to  ignore everything I felt and just buried everything I felt inside”- just as you do with your family. Because we are social animals, when we bury our feelings and do not share them, we feel alone and lonely and we don’t know ourselves, being unknown (your name here) to ourselves. It is through sharing of our deepest thoughts and feelings that we become known to ourselves.

“just because I don’t like being sad in front of others”- did your parents/ older members of your family reject you when you were sad in their presence, disapproving of you for looking sad?

“so I used to cover it with teasing them, making a joke and made them laughed… but as soon as they gone or I’m alone, I’m gonna be sad, again”- sad doesn’t go away because we don’t want to be sad, or because we are told we shouldn’t be sad. Like any emotion, if we resist it, disapprove of it, push it down or away, the emotion stays and persist, and will not go away.

You need one person in your life with whom you can and will express your sadness, a person who will respond to you with empathy, allowing your sadness, inviting it to express itself.

Would you like to tell me more about your sadness?

anita