Dear AnxiousAsusual:

Clearly, moving to a different state distressed him and he is still distressed over the move, plus your focus on his sexual libido and performance is distressing him as well, as you stated yourself: “my anxiety is also  a libido killer for him”.

But there is something else, that GAD and OCD you placed in parenthesis: your “VERY high sex drive” may be related to your high anxiety. The sexual exchange relieves your anxiety, doesn’t it, temporarily, that is?

It is possible that you need sex as much as you do because this is the way you experience relief from ongoing distress, aka anxiety, that ongoing state of fear, of disquiet.

If you agree, if this is the case, then you lowering your anxiety level on a daily basis will lower your desperation for more sex, and reduce the pressure you place on him and the relationship.

What do you think?

anita