Hi guys, so I was intending on having the talk with my wife yesterday, I chickened out.

But I had a free day today so had a chance to talk to another counselor who helped me out.

My plan is to have this talk tomorrow. I am going to ask her to think this over, to talk to a counselor and to get back to me with an answer when she’s ready. If not having children is a matter of preference then that’s fine I respect it but I also have a right to walk away in that case, as hard as it would no doubt be for both us.

If she is scared I hope to encourage her to explore why and see if we can alleviate those concerns. My counselor explained that maybe she has been living in a state of fear but if that’s the case this fear is now bleeding out and is influencing the relationship and me too which is not ok.

My biggest worry is that this is a conscious choice and that we won’t be able to work this out. I respect that it is her body and would never dream of telling her what to do with it. However not having children affects me too and if she insists on this choice regardless of my feelings as to how this affects me I think that would be very bad for our marriage. I hope to god it doesn’t get to that, I do not want to lose the love of my life. I’m very worried. I actually had a breakdown at work yesterday I think they all think I’m going crazy. I really need to sort this out, I don’t know how long I can keep this under control.

Thanks for your help on here guys. It really has helped me process this. I hope my marriage can get through this.