Dear afeels:

I am familiar with what I will term now the HOCD (Homosexual OCD)  community, that is, the people, males and females, who are obsessed with the-never satisfied question: am I homosexual?

Trying to communicate with an HOCD person, like with any person obsessed, is a very frustrating experience. The HOCD person is like Teflon, letting any and all reasoning slide off him/ her, while repeating the same old same old thoughts, a never ending barrage of recycling thoughts.

But, going to the basics of it, it is an obsession over a label: homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual (or whatever synonymous labels exist to these three basic labels). Life stops for the HOCD person until such a time that one figures out the appropriate label.

As if life will be smooth sailing if only and when a label is determined.

You wrote: “I have realized that I am now becoming curious about women, particularly women who are tom-boyish”- why not attend a lesbian club and there, approach a tom-boyish woman for a conversation, take it from there, experiment in Reality (that will be a step in the right direction, away from obsessing and toward making things happen)?

anita