Dear (Less) AnxiousAsusual:

What a delight it is to read your post. Excellent goals for this week. Notice that you will not necessarily perform as well as you did yesterday, so please don’t get discouraged. The key is to notice and correct. For example, you noticed that you just said something pessimistic, and don’t continue that talk. Quiet down, pause and later talk about something else, or give him a kiss. Or you noticed that you said something  that pressure him, pause, maybe apologize and correct.

What often happened, and it did with me, repeatedly, is that when I made a mistake, it felt to me that I failed and all was lost, that I made a mistake so what is the point of trying.

Success in changing behavior is to notice and gently correct, and persist.

Another thing: there will be a time that you will be doing well, and yet, he will be distressed. Don’t give up when that happens. Nothing that you do can eliminate his distress at all times. Persist, adhere to your goals.

You wrote: “I am a notorious pessimist and complainer”- it is not a life sentence. You can change that, again, with persistence. Notice and gently correct, and then, again.

anita