Dear cranberry:

I will put myself in his shoes, pretending I am him, assuming he is a decent man: after he told you what bothered him and instead of listening to him and trying to understand him, you attacked him (“then dump me!”), when this kind of interaction happened before, repeatedly, I too would want to break up with you, why would I want more of this frustration?

It is not a sign of love for a man (or a woman) to keep pursuing a frustrating, miserable relationship. Some good times in between the bad, after a while, don’t make up for the bad times anymore.

So why would I want more of a bad thing…?

I understand that you are scared to contact him. It is up to you to take the risk of him rejecting you if you contact him. It is up to you to figure our what you prefer: to leave it like it is, or to take the risk of making it work and in making it work, learn a valuable lesson that will make your life better.

As a matter of fact, even if you message him and he rejects you, if you message him willing to be truthful to him, expressing regret for dismissing his feelings before and attacking him, if you express a sincere willingness to have a win-win, honest relationship with him, there is progress in that in itself, for you. A progress that will make your life better with him and if not with him, then later, with someone else.

anita