Dear nrk2208:

Regarding 40 minute meditation, this is a very long time requirement. There are very short guided meditations available online, theme: mindfulness, a few minutes in duration and effective.

You wrote earlier that you “think a lot and speak very little”. Things appear good on the family front and on the work front “from superficial level”.

Advertisement, social media, peers keep sending messages about how a man in your circumstances in life (being 35, husband, father, and so  forth) should behave and do. You compare your behavior and accomplishments to that should-messages and it makes you feel that you don’t fit the messages, that you fail expectations. You feel that you don’t only fail society’s expectations but that you are hurting the people closest to you (wife and baby? Others?)

You are worried that your actions are wrong or inadequate and are hurting others,  and that there are actions you are not taking, and that inaction is hurting others.

Back to what you wrote earlier, that you “think a lot and speak very little” and that on the superficial level your family life appears good. I ask the following because I need to understand better and for the two of us to explore the matter further:

What is the status on your communication with your wife- maybe you need to talk more to her and with her, share with her what you think and feel. I wonder if you tried and gave up  on it, or if you never tried?

(Working with a wife as a team, helping each other, is most important for the well being of the husband, as well as the wife, it makes for a deep connection, not a superficial one).

anita