I wish I felt like I want to do something with it. Complaining doesn’t help. But doing something about it is just too hard. It’s easier not to do anything. I don’t know if living with father would be doable, but I’ve never tried. Who knows. I would like to live alone, with someone I love, far away from both of my parents. I ran to him maybe because he was calmer, he didn’t use physical force. And on the reality show: it’s like no one cares. Like I’m just a boy and people watch and sometimes laugh about my depressive jokes. But when someone cares, I just simply don’t and can’t appreciate it.