Dear AnxiousAsUsual:

His strong desire to not be like his father is your best bet that he will not cheat on you, that should calm your anxiety on that front.

His unresolved anger toward his father might be what is wearing him down, exhausting him so that he doesn’t have the motivation or energy to exercise, play sports, and… maybe even exhausting his sexual energy. Ongoing anger is a powerful force that does exhaust people.

I hope that you are not encouraging him to be in contact with his father and to resolve his anger with his father via such contact. It is probably better that he doesn’t have contact with him because unless the two of them attend therapy together with a good therapist, the issues are not likely to be resolved, they are greater than your boyfriend can handle. I think best if he will attend quality psychotherapy to address and resolve such issue while not being in contact with his father.

I hope his mother has not been talking to him about her frustrations with his father, not when he was a child and not now. If she does, she is feeding his anger toward his father. He doesn’t need more of that.

anita