Dear AnxiousAsUsual:

Thank you. I appreciate you too.

“Things didn’t stay as they were”- things don’t feel the same when Fantasy slowly disappears and Reality appears. When that happens, we have to have the courage to look Reality in the face, see it for what it is, find out more about what it is, and then decide what to do  with it and about it.

If we ignore reality, closing our eyes to it best we can, holding on to fantasy, what happens is that reality doesn’t ignore us,  it keeps being what it is. Ignoring it, our distress grows and grows until we can’t take it anymore and we leave the situation.

Don’t ignore it, examine, pay attention, find out more. Try this and that and see how he responds, if he responds. You can’t find out what you need to find out in a conversation with him, like the recent one where he was trying to get out of trouble. You do it here and there, gradually. You have to be patient.

You will learn all that you need to learn with a bit of time, but take an active role in the learning process, don’t just wait for things to happen.

It will take courage for you to suggest to him what you are considering suggesting, but do  it anyway, best you can and let me know how he responds. If at any one time you are dumbfounded, not knowing what to say to him, don’t say anything. Figure it out later. Let me know of the situation, if you want, and I will help you through it.

anita