Dear Suzanne:

It caught my attention when you shared that he told you that he feels uncomfortable voicing his opinions to her, that doing so resulted in fights and that at times she verbally abused him. They had many misunderstandings in the last year, and they weren’t in a relationship that long when living in the same place, only one year… all reads like not a good relationship. Then he has a wonderful relationship, why is he thinking about her, why is he conflicted…

Maybe he feels guilty, that he owes her something, maybe it is something she encouraged in him, to feel responsible for how she feels, blaming him, I don’t know. What I learned about men in unsatisfying relationships is that often enough, they don’t leave those relationships, they complain a lot and repeatedly, but they don’t leave.

I would say that accepting a break from him, not a breakup, may be a good idea if the two of you are very clear about what a break means: contact or no contact? What does a breakup means, what is the difference between the two, break and breakup?

anita