Dear Anita

He did mention it to me that it was not a good relationship. She did made him feel guilty at times. During there break up she even blamed him for initiating sexual intimacy between them, when it was all consensual. He is a sensitive man, and was very hurt by such accusations.  I have tried to explain him several times that it is not his fault. But I feel I cannot do this anymore, it was okay as a friend but now it feels like meddling.

He just wants to make sure that she is okay after the break up. He feels he owes her that because of the time they had together. I keep telling him that break ups are supposed to be tough and he will only prolong the pain that comes with the breakup if they will keep talking. It does gets frustrating for me as well, but I cannot tell him what to do and what not to do. He will have to figure that out by himself or otherwise he might end up even blaming me later.

He suggested that during the break, we maintain no contact and it could last few months (4-6 maybe). I agree on no contact during the break. Though we have to discuss in detail what break or break up would entail. But with break, the waiting does make me anxious, the possibility of him coming back or not. Whether he is in touch with his ex or not. Break up will mean, we will no longer stay in touch, I will not entertain the possibility of him coming back to me and will try to move on with my life.