Hi Anita,

Thank you again for your helpful advice. I’m saddened to report that I dreamt of this ex of 2 years ago again last night. Once again, he apologized, and wanted to be with me. I am starting to realize what this common dream symbolizes, rather than it being what I actually want. The ex in my dream is not the real person, he is much kinder and mature. He gives me closure. I think in some ways, I will always be wanting this closure/validation from him and my mother, but I know deep down that neither are able or willing to give it to me, at least in the way I want.

It looks like I must restart the 6 month clock, as I told my partner about this dream and how upset I was having it since I truly thought I put this person and this relationship to rest. He was very kind and reassuring about it, perhaps there why I told him so much of this ex before. He really wants me to be over it, for me. I can tell it’s not selfish, it’s not for him or us he does this, it’s really for me and to try to stop my suffering. I feel very loved when he tries to reassure me, perhaps subconsciously I crave this feeling of love from him.

But you are right, I need to put this behind me and I definitely should not burden my partner with it. We will see how the next 6 months goes. It’s diffucult for me to not know what the future holds, to be able to plan ahead, but perhaps I’m being taught patience and faith in this process.