Dear Ariana:

I read the article you listed. Here is a bit from the story you provided: the two of you “aren’t where we need to be in life”, you feel “upset and anxious a lot of the time” and exhausted, while in this on and off relationship. Knowing your distress, he told you in so many words that he wants you to remain in a relationship with him because it feels good to him.

You wrote, “I’m not even sure how to approach the topic… Does anyone have any advice for me?”

-yes, tell him that a relationship to be healthy and loving needs to be a Win-Win endeavor, a Win for him and a Win for you. Not a win for him alone. Tell him that overall, it is not a Win for you. Then ask him if he has any suggestions.

Listen to his response and post it next, will you?

anita