Dear Laelithia:

I have a bit more to say regarding the Feb 11 text your mother sent you: “You are constantly on my mind- I feel so helpless to help. I love you so much. Right now your happiness is paramount in our life”-

-what she is saying in this text is that she is a good, loving and capable mother but she is helpless to help you because you are in such a bad shape that she, the capable good mother can’t help you. She is puzzled, has no idea why you are troubled, nothing she did, nothing she had a part in.

This message is congruent with her previous communications to you: she is puzzled, has no idea why you are experiencing any problems.

This message, which she keeps delivering to you, is harmful to you. It cements the idea that the problem in the relationship between you and her is you, not her, never has been her. It keeps you in the position of the problematic person, the one who needs help. It keeps her in the position of the eternally good, loving mother whose daughter is too troubled to be helped.

These messages are not true to Reality and they keep you stuck in sickness because reality, she has created a sickness in you by treating you as if you were one of her own childhood’s bullies, frowning at you, disapproving of you, and she did this throughout your formative years.

I can’t think of any contact that you can have with her that will prevent her from sending you these messages. Maybe blocking her from your phone, maybe talking to your father when she is not at all present there, so that she cannot deliver more of these messages.

anita