Dear Lily:

I don’t have the title of it in mind, but one of the guided meditations by Mark Williams is about dealing with thoughts, not getting stuck in them but instead noticing a thought, then observe it in a detached way, seeing it floating to the outside, through a window. It’s been years since I listened to it but I hope you can locate it and listen to it. If you do, will you tell me how it felt for you?

You did practice repeatedly correcting your thoughts, that is good. If you can incorporate detaching yourself from thoughts (my paragraph above), that will help as well.

You wrote: “I learned to not trust myself and my own feelings”. Can you tell me more about who taught you to not trust yourself and your feelings and how he/she taught you that?

You wrote: “I have so much self-doubt and shame”. Can you tell me the earliest circumstances in your life when you felt shame?

anita