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Reply To: How to find peace with people

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#280899
me myself and i
Participant

yes. for the sake of this thread, here’s the following. she’s my mother. yes she sold my car, i still owe money on it.

i mostly feel really alone, like everything is there to screw me, after the stalking, i don,t trust v well, and the “precarious house of cards” feeling is huge.

most of my 20s spent trying to get rid of depression and anxiety, surfing from job to job due to paranoia.

then i actually learned to manage the stalking, but the precarious feeling is still there, it feels futile to try anything, but i do and look only at the good, and what i can do now. sometimes it feels like screwing myself over though.   fyi i have 50k in student loans, blew my savings on a hotel looking for a new place, no retirement, but im not alcoholic, dont do hard drugs, or have other addictions…

just this revolting precarious mentality is whats left. lmao why do i do anything, or bother i should shoot myself while im ahead, but art/ writing keeps me going. as  i can turn depression and anxiety off like there’s a switch but…rage at things is hard to turn off. i put 150% into everything then ..