Dear lostcloud:

“I know you all think I’m an idiot”- I don’t. Intelligent people do idiotic things, I have done idiotic things for decades, unfortunately. The reason we do idiotic things is that we are primarily motivated by emotions, not by logic, just like other animals from which we evolved.

When we are not aware of our emotions, we aren’t able to use logic so to make wise choices. For example, you “never felt neglected as a child”, you wrote. But maybe you did feel neglected as a child, but you don’t remember, you buried that feeling so that you are not aware of it. Children do that.

And it is so very common that a child is not neglected as far as food, clothes, shelter and other material things, but the child is neglected by let’s say, the parent is focused on other people, not paying attention to the child, not noticing the child is scared or sad.

I have a comment regarding what you wrote here: “I guess I have to  believe in karma… it seems unfair. He has continued his life, no pain”-

-when I read your original post yesterday, one of my first thoughts was: what is wrong with this man, he must be suffering. I think that the karma you wish he suffers in the future already happened (not that his suffering justifies his behavior, or that you could have helped him).

He is 38 and he doesn’t know what he is doing. He puts all this energy for nothing, “pursues me for months”, pursues other women… compelled to pursue women, lies, promises to be a “changed man”, breaks his promises, never satisfied with the woman he is with, not with you, not with the current woman in his life, messaging you recently that “he wasn’t sure”, still on POF … doesn’t read to me like an emotionally healthy man having fun. Reads more like a man in pain trying to distract himself from his pain.

You wrote regarding his mother that he “thought she was mother Theresa”- do you know anything about why he thought that and about his experience as a child with his mother and father?

anita