Dear sparkle00,

Once I read that you’re going through perimenopause, I thought “that’s exactly what I went through”. I am so very sorry that you are going through this, and I would like to try to give you some advice based on my own experience.

I am only 45 but postmenopausal for over 4 years now. When I started to notice something was not right with me, I was already going through perimenopause, but doctors just told me it was due to stress. Back then I was in a long-distance relationship and my paranoia caused by my messed up hormone levels almost caused it to break apart. I went through the same that you’re describing: worrying about your boyfriend cheating on you, being insecure about you being enough for him etc…….in my case it has gotten so bad that I ended up being severely depressed and when one doctor finally figured that I was in menopause at that very young age, I already needed antidepressants to help me (temporarily). I then moved on to taking St. John’s Wort and Black Cohosh, both natural remedies for anxiety and depression, and it did help to some extent. But eventually my hormone levels were so messed up that my doctor suggested to put me on HRT. Ever since I started (and I am now taking hormones for over 7 years) I felt like myself again. My paranoia subsided eventually and I became calmer and stopped seeing things where there were none (like my partner cheating on me etc.).

Now I am not a doctor, and maybe your case is totally different, but to me it looks like your hormones are messed up and that could be the reason you feel the way you do, and which makes you act like that. Find a doctor you trust and do a hormone level test. If the hormones are really out of whack, you may consider starting HRT or at least try it for a few months to see if/how it changes things. For me it was a blessing, because I was feeling so bad that it just wasn’t a good life anymore, being like that.

I wish you all the best and hope you figure this out before things go worse.