Another thing, anita – Do you have any insight on why i can never take action. Some of the thoughts are –

1. It won’t work out

2. I will give up anyways

3. It will not change anything

I am wondering if i refuse to change or take action as i am still waiting for someone to accept me as i am.

Also, i have not always been the best daughter. I did well at school, but i think i was always upset with my mom for how she would always stay a victim or vent the frustrstion out at us, so i used to throw tantrums and fight with her. I was also too lazy to help out in the house, so i would say may be even i did not truly love her. I love her – but i think i am guilty of what i accuse my parents of – the love is expressed only during illnesses, the rest of the time it is just words and not actions.