Dear gj:

You wrote about your extended family: “Had it been legal to know the baby’s gender, they would have aborted her. People still look at girls as a burden financially”

– so a girl is born-> financial burden; a boy is born-> financial benefit. Correct?

– if I understand correctly, traditionally in your area, the parents move in with their adult son and the son’s wife, not with any of their daughters?

If your mother didn’t predict moving in with you once you get married, she does see you and her as well as your father and siblings as one financial unit for as long as you are not married. This is clear to me because she told you: “we are not rich you will have to try to get the best job/ marks possible, otherwise something terrible will happen… my entire family on the streets..”-

– your mother placed on you a huge financial responsibility, suggesting that if you don’t get the best marks and best job, “something terrible will happen”-

She put great fear in you. Great fear kills motivation, interests, passion. Fear does that.

Looking forward to your reply.

anita