Dear Hella:

What a poetic, profound way of saying it: “I am some kind of oddball in  my own family. An oddball needs a support group”- I am so  impressed with how you phrased it!

So you felt like an oddball in your family, and you felt a bit alienated from your friends (“because I had the drive and curiosity to go elsewhere, whereas they mostly talked about it”). In your home town then you felt alienated somewhat and you felt that you were “missing a close-knit community there.

Next you left your hometown and moved to a smaller city five hours away by train. You started our Masters there and you met H. You stayed there for five years. Living here made you “feel a bit high on life”, free to “try new things and live in a different way”

Next, August last year, seven months ago, you moved across the border to another country about 30 minutes away by train. You are not sure whether you should stay where you are or move back to your hometown.

My input at this point: I don’t think it is a good idea that you move back to your hometown. There is a reason, or reasons you left and got high on life elsewhere. You felt unsatisfied in your hometown, alienated before you knew a different experience. Now that you lived a different experience, feeling connected, supported and high-on-life, going back will feel lower than before, more unsatisfactory, is what I think is likely to happen.

Problem is you are unsettled now, unsatisfied again. So you might think why not go back to your hometown-

– But there are other places, your hometown and the city where you live.. and even that town where you spent five years, these are not the only three places in the world that are available for you!

Can you tell me how you were the oddball in your family- that will bring me more understanding. Also, I lived in quite a few places, very different places in the world and I might be able to give you useful information on what place may fit you better.

anita