Hi Anita, You hit the nail on the head- it’s almost scary how you picked up on all of that. He’s been working on the house since the day I reconnected with him (almost 3 years ago) – he will have days (maybe one day a month) that he can actually concentrate to get anything done. Almost always, the jobs are very little yet he is extremely proud of himself ( I am to). I am a very empathetic person (to a fault) so i can pick up on his hesitation or lack of energy to complete tasks so i tend to go with the flow and never pressure him and I always applaud him for the work that he’s done. I never know when to push him or suggest ideas for the house. I never want to push him so much that he’s snapped. Lately, he’s been putting a lot of pressure on me to move in. Saying very nice things such as: “I can’t wait for you to move in so I can see you everyday” and “I can’t wait to start a family” I know it’s all genuine- I’m a well educated person so I know the difference between someone that is using me etc. He is a great person all around. Also, he has a tiny house in his backyard (super cute, rented out in the summer Air BNB because we live in a beach town) – he has been living in that for the last 6 months while he is “working” on the house. I was all for that because it’s a great place for us to hang out/cook dinner and relax in a vacation-type home. He basically has trashed the place due to his lack of cleaning abilities. For example, he made us an awesome superbowl dinner- wings/guac/nachos and as of 21 days later had yet to do the dishes. His family jokes about how gross he was growing up. I have a laundry list of things that would repulse the normal human. Sometimes it’s so messy i have to go over hours before we hang out just to clean. It’s almost as if he is paralyzed and can’t do it. This is beyond the typical man – it’s so bad that when i opened his fridge, i was dry heaving for 5 min. I have  strong stomach- i hunt and have seen the insides of many animals and never once felt sick. I think this has something to do with the anxiety/adhd…but again, I have NO experience with this. I am a strong person that has overcome many obstacles without having anxiety. I thought his messy-ness was just a typical guy but the more I see lately, the more I think this is something psychological. Sometimes, he will go days without showering. But to the outside world, most people would consider him the total package. I think I’ve become more pushy/critical because I guess I was just trying a different approach- nothing before was working. I’ve also asked him how he can accomplish so much at work but then do zero at home (i said it in a very nice way) and he basically said that he’s always been like that. I’m torn because i would do anything for him and stick by him through anything- mental illness etc. He also is a heavy drinker and heavy pot smoker, is constantly chewing tobacco and smokes cigarettes. I like to indulge to and we never do it around my daughter but i only drink once or twice a week when we hand out and i know he does it everynight. He told me he can’t sleep without those things. I just don’t know if there is a chance at helping him or if he is pulling away because he knows he simply can’t be the man my daughter and i need….