Dear Christine:

You wrote: “I think this has something to do with the anxiety/adhd”- I think this has a whole lot  to do  with his anxiety/ADHD, as in (almost) everything.

If he was open to psychiatric drugs, and if he was patient enough to take on the long and maybe process of experimenting with different psych drugs and dosages over a long time, while not taking in any pot or alcohol (or just a bit, I imagine, according to.. doctor’s orders), then maybe a psych drug or combination of drugs can be effective for him and he will be able to do the tasks he can’t do now.

Otherwise, if you do choose to live with him, you will have to clean yourself and probably hire someone to clean and keep the place organized and neat, every day. Plus you will have to deal with the pot and drinking, so that your daughter is not exposed to him (or you) using drugs and getting high or intoxicated. You will have to do the hiring of workers to do what needs to be done in the house and supervise them. You will have to make sure he takes showers, in the summer time, anyway.

Are you willing to do  these things?

anita