Anita,

I just worry that I’m running away from things by not being in my hometown. What has been striking to me is that when I have come back I have felt this strong sense that all the worries I have in regards to this common friend group just disappears, it seems super silly and in turn H seems like a complete beephole. It is almost like two people’s perspective on the situation – one that is weak (me not in my hometown) and one that is angry for the person that has been harmed by H (me feeling stronger in my hometown). I also feel like I am eternally youthful in my new town, but that I’m not getting to where I want to be careerwise or even apartment/housewise. It’s just hard.

I’m an oddball because I am the youngest of three, my older siblings have a stronger bond to each other than I do to either of them, they are both married with children, while I’m not. I also consider myself queer or bisexual, something that gives me a different outlook on life compared to my family members. Yeah, I just feel like I need to design my way in life differently because of that.