Dear Lily:

When there is a sign by a shelf, reading: “food sharing shelf” and you eat some of that food, you are not stealing.

If someone puts that sign there, or allows it to remain there but secretly expects  others to not eat that food, they are being dishonest or inattentive and definitely unclear. It is not other people’s responsibility to read someone’s mind so to make sure that at any moment they are okay with the sign. We can read signs, not other people’s brains

If you take anything that belongs to someone else, not knowing that it belongs to someone else, or otherwise having no awareness that you shouldn’t take something because it doesn’t belong to you, then you are not stealing.

“Maybe they will say that I behave weirdly. That I seem to avoid the others and that I often prepare my food in my room”- there is nothing wrong with preparing your food in your room, there is no law against it and there is no harm in it to anyone. It is not a crime and it is not unethical. It is your legal and ethical right to prepare your food in your room.

If anyone complains about you eating in your room, you can say: I am not aware of a dormitory rule stating it is wrong to eat in one’s room. Are you aware of such a rule? (instead of saying: “I was not feeling so well.. and needed more time for myself”).

“They could say that I seem nervous”- there is no law against seeming nervous. It is not a crime, neither is it unethical, nor is it a matter of choice. Therefore, no reason to explain/ defend yourself (“And then I could answer: “I am just a more nervous and insecure person”). Insread, you can say: everyone seems nervous sometimes, including ever person in this meeting.

Your answer regarding the ikea knife reads okay to me.

Post more in preparation for this meeting, if you want, coming up with scenarios, just like you did in your recent post.

anita