Dear coconut:

My understanding of your story (please correct me where I misunderstood):

You have been in a relationship for 4 years. It started as a long distance relationship where you saw him about once a week. You expressed to him dissatisfaction about seeing him only once per week. At one point he was very angry at you and broke up with you, telling you that “he doesn’t feel anything anymore”, and you felt “extremely hurt”. The breakup lasted 5 months.

The relationship resumed, long distance. You pressured him to move in together but he refused, until you communicated to him that you “had no feelings for him anymore”, that you were “tired of a log-distance relationship”, and that you were “attracted to one of (your) co-workers”, and so, finally moved in with you.

Now that you are living with him, you are still anxious, confused and numb, not only with him but with everyone else around you, “just don’t feel ‘connected’ to people at all”.

You want to break up with him because you are anxious while with him and you want to be calm, figuring you might be calm if you separate from him, but on the other hand, you don’t want to break up with him because you are afraid of the pain that you will feel if you break up.

Did I understand correctly?

anita