Dear coconut:

It is a good thing that you are no longer aggressive toward him (and he is not  toward you). Note that the feeling of anger itself is not an act of  aggression, as anger is natural and like any other feeling, we don’t choose what we feel. It is only what we say and do that is a matter of choice, not what we feel. So even when you feel anger toward him, choose what you say and do so to not be aggressive. The same goes for him.

“having someone that feels/thinks the same and agrees with me for real, makes me feel close  to that person”- as you know, it is not possible to find someone who thinks and feels the same as you do. I suppose you mean that your partner should be someone who thinks and feels about things close enough to how you think and feel, correct?

The jokes he tells, that you don’t like, can you give a couple of examples of those and what you don’t like about them?

anita