Thanks, anita. I will do what you did ” I am special but not that special” and will have to learn patience. I will have to take responsibility for myself and my happiness now and it feels lonely. I was always lonely but now it has somehow become more severe because I will now have to give up on the idea of what a family is that i have held on to for so long.

Thank you for the support, Phil. It makes sense to not focus on myself for a bit and try to do good. It may sound like an excuse but I am uncomfortable being part of activities. It is weird – i don’t have the guts to go out alone and do something but at the same time with organizations and volunteer groups I feel really out of place. I will make it my goal to volunteer atleast once in the next two-three months. It is just that I have trouble being around enthusiastic people that know what they are doing and feel out of place. I am a little selfish.