Dear gj:

“I will now gave to give up on the idea of what a family is that I have held on to for so  long”, you wrote in your post before the most recent. It means that if/ when you get married you decide who gives you away, if anyone at all. It doesn’t matter what your father wants or what your mother wants, you decide.

If you marry where you live, especially if it is an arranged marriage, I suppose you will do what those who arranged the marriage want you  to do. But if you move and live far away, you can choose if you marry, who you marry and what ceremony will take place.

You want to be motivated in life: when you choose, you have something to look forward to. Living your life your way is something to look forward to, isn’t it?

anita