Dear Charlie:

She was disrespectful to you getting involved with your then boyfriend, and your boyfriend was disrespectful to you getting involved with another woman, and taking your son with him when visiting her, without your knowledge of course.

But what now, is the question: what is useful for you to do now-

I think it is a good  idea for you to meet with her and with your ex/ her current boyfriend. Meet them both, a meeting of three, a meeting aimed at improving the situation for your son, making it all more comfortable for all parties involved.

I think that your ex is nervous about you meeting with her alone, and so does she, probably afraid of a confrontation. So meet them together- she will feel safer with him around, and he will feel more comfortable being present at the meeting, not wondering what may be going on if his ex girlfriend and his present girlfriend get together without him present.

If you arrange such a meeting, prepare a short list of objectives for the meeting and an agenda, treat it like a business meeting with a friendly touch.

What do you think?

anita