Somehow for me, if I have to be true to myself – which means I will not pretend to be someone else, I don’t believe we can have healthy relationships with most people. I have noticed most relationships among people are to get something out of it. Especially at work, I am not sure how to function. One moment, they are nice and the next moment they are horrible. Even if i leave myself out of it, things between people are very fake. It feels like you need to leave who you are outside the building. I think i struggle with that, because we spend close to 8 hours inside and everyone wants to protect themselves – which is understandable. My only problem is that people are too defensive, even for little things they want to deflect blame. I could never do that to anyone, leave alone someone who is a decade younger. I feel very out of place because for me I am not comfortable with hanging out casually knowing what everyone is really like. I cannot be around people being fake-friendly/concerned. I cannot play along.