Dear anita,

I guess I feel bad for feeling miserable. I get paid well at work, my mother takes care of the house and cooks us food, which essentially means all I am required to do is go to work and do a good job. I feel bad for not being able to do that and makes me feel that I am being ungrateful – which was why i asked you in an older post about me being too sensitive or dramatic.

Your latest reply does help me see that i am so scared of things getting worse that I am not even looking at how badly I feel about how things are as they are.

About not listening to my mother’s advice. I am starting to see that I really need her approval. I even took out life insurance within a few minutes of speaking to the agent. What i wanted to do was to go back home and think about it, but she said i would not have time to go back (almost implying i will be too lazy to come back) and so i filled out the form right away. I am angry at myself for being so weak. In that case it would have been wise to take my time. Somehow, when my mom brings up one of my flaws, i am convinced right away that i must do it her way as i have a flaw that would limit how i function. I think i use her as a crutch to deal with my self doubt.

Gj