Dear Lily:

“Others would have judged me”- it is not your fault any more than it was my fault that I came to believe as a child that I was worthless, of very little value. And I supposed that something of very little value, such as myself, should be grateful for any semblance of positive attention. A bit of attention, no matter the price I had to pay for it, felt… special enough. Better than the alternative loneliness.

“I feel better about myself, better than I would have felt if I would have caved to his wish for him to sleep  over”-

– I will state the following in a crude way simply because it is true, and this truth is.. crude. So here it is: it is very sad whenever a girl/ woman feels special enough to be the one chosen at any one time to facilitate a man’s ejaculation.

So here is this  man (or that other man) interested in a female so to ejaculate in her company, using her body, or her servicing him somehow, and so, he is nice to her. Maybe he doesn’t want to pay for the service and getting it free requires that he smiles at the young woman and say something nice or go for a walk with her beforehand, or buy her a sandwich… so he does that, get serviced and moves on.

Then later, in need again, he contacts her, or some other women, depending on what is available to him and he again says something nice, buys her a piece of cake, or not, maybe he can get serviced without buying her a piece of cake, so why bother, maybe it is enough to just smile at her, say something like: I miss you. And she melts (oh, he wants to spend time with ME, I feel so special!), so she avails herself to him, he ejaculates and moves on… till the next time.

When this happens, and the man calls you again, in need of being serviced, are you doing anything wrong when you say “No!”?

anita