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Michelle:
I would like to let you know that there is at least one more person on this forum besides Shelby and Kkasxo who is grateful to you for your input.
I was very similar in my feelings and reasonings to the ladies when I had my unhealthy relationship.
It finished roughly four years ago, I have had a few minor, not-so-minor and one major mostly one-sided crush since (that basically cured me from that breakup and is now finally subsiding mostly because of time elapsed and one-sidedness and lack of contact), but nothing two-sided and serious. I am still figuring out why I like certain men, and why I am liked by those whom I can hardly stand or can see only as a friend, but not liked enough by those whom I like to have a relationship with me.
I guess I am much healthier now having done a lot of reading, dwelling and observing, but it is definitely helpful to learn from experience of somebody who has been there, has not only survived, but is in a healthy relationship and not only is, but has been for 18-19 years. So thank you!