Hi again Anita!

Yes I certainly won’t be starting any relationships until I invest a lot more time in myself first.

The best friend wanted to talk about it face to face. I said I don’t think it’s a good idea as I don’t particularly know how I will react to certain things. She said let’s just talk, you go first, and then I’ll speak and we can go from there. So she came over, I just said I felt betrayed, and then more betrayed that she continued it regardless of a title of a friendship. I said that she wanted to repair the friendship, and when you hurt someone, the same actions don’t indicate you want to fix them to me. She said she will stop talking to her if that’s what I want. I said I would never tell someone who they can or can’t speak to, morally I would have assumed you wouldn’t but at the same time that’s my morals not yours. She apologised, and said she wanted one too because I said hurtful things. I said I can’t apologise because I believe what I said I meant, I did feel betrayed and I did feel hurt, and I’m entitled to have those feelings. She said if I can’t apologise she’s done , so she left.

I agree with you that I need to let them both go. In regard to the amazing one, I’m finding that hard. I’m not getting much back though and I need to accept it and move on.

Thankyou for the suggestions, I will start investing my time into more positive things to help myself. I had a good sleep! No sleepwalking, and I didn’t wake up through out the night much. I still do need to take my sleeping tablets because I will withdraw if I stop completely, but I am aiming to spend a few nights a week without one and gradually reduce now that I know I can 🙂