Hi, Michelle,

I would say I am pretty good about focusing my mind in everyday life unless I have been deeply disturbed by something.

If I can’t calm down on my own and thoughts just keep going on and on in my mind and I keep rehashing the same story, I do put it down.

I think the sheer act of pouring it out helps.

Sometimes though that rehashing combined with pouring it out makes the whole story lose its grip on me and I am able to condense it to a couple of sentences.

Later on I might even forget what it was that made me so frustrated, I forget the details and only remember that I don’t want to go back / deal with that person again, etc.

So about those old posts. First, it is indeed an old story now and I don’t want my ex back (though may still be angry that he didn’t treat me the way he said he would both during the breakup and now – I would say that now he is passive-aggressive as if I was the one who dumped me (but we seldom meet now and might not even meet again)).

Second, obviously, something is wrong with me (or is it?) and all those thoughts and feelings about men in my life are still applicable to me today.

Third, as they say the devil is in the details and psychologists and therapists often ask their clients not to leave anything out at all. So I simply don’t know – can it be that that particular thingest gives somebody the clue???

So in short, I suppose I am referring to all those posts so that I don’t have to write the same thing twice as all of this kind of extends into the present moment and I really don’t know whether anything can be omitted or not.

Please believe me that I do know how hard it is to read through all this. I am now even feeling bad because, while believing that that info may be of use, I personally don’t want to reread those posts also because they bring about too many painful memories that I consider now processed and buried.

I just don’t know – maybe we could try and start off with my response to your comments and then you will be able to tell whether you need to go further down my memory lane and experiences contained in those old posts?