Dear Yonatan:

This is what I think happened: Maya’s parents have been very interested in getting Maya married to a Jewish man who will take care of all  financial matters of the wedding and marriage to follow.

They’ve been looking for a man for Maya long before you came along. They met quite a few candidates for the position but none of the candidates worked out. I think Maya rejected quite a few. By the time you came along, her parents have let Maya know that she is not to be very picky this time.

Maya introduced you to them that first visit in Maryland and they approved of you, seeing that you are indeed Jewish, employed and employable, your parents being in a good financial position, and you- eager to please them and easy for them to manipulate (to pay the bills). And so it was decided that you will be the guy to fit the bill, or in other words, you will be the guy to pay the bills.

And you did pay the bills. They wanted a big wedding and not pay for any of it and you were eager to comply and offered to pay all, then proceeded to do so, no questions asked.

Problem was that Maya didn’t like you. She liked the alpha male type, the one that appears confident. Alone with her parents, she tried to convince them that you are not a good candidate, weak, not strong. She told them things you said that indicate weakness. She cried to them. She tried to  make them feel sorry for her, saying that having sex with you will feel like rape. She wanted out of the approaching wedding and marriage but she needed to convince them first.

Her parents still wanted her to marry soon, and you still fit the bill somewhat, and they were embarrassed about going as far as they already did, so they decided to investigate the seriousness of your weakness by arranging for your therapy with their friend, having the friend then tell them.. if you are indeed too weak to be able to pay the bills throughout the years of the marriage to be.

Finally, Maya succeeded in convincing her parents and they decided that the wedding and the marriage was not a good idea after all, that you were not strong enough to reliably do well in a career and provide well enough for their daughter for a duration of a marriage, plus they fell sorry for their daughter crying and being so miserable.

The reason her father wanted you to erase all communication with them is so to erase evidence that they were looking for a man to  pay the bills. They feared that their communication with you will make them look bad in the eyes of others who may see those communications, being seen as looking for a man to..basically pay the bills. They returned the gold and diamond jewelry so to not look like ..gold diggers.

Your last line: “I will never find a girl as amazing as my Maya”- she was not amazing, really, in the context of the relationship with you, other than how she looked and her mannerism perhaps. But she was not honest with you. She told you herself that she never meant it, all the times she told you that she loved you.

“I cannot stop blaming myself”- for not seeing what was going on, I  suppose you are responsible for that. But Maya is responsible for being dishonest with you all along. And her parents are responsible for the same, being dishonest with you and for trying to take advantage of you financially.

anita