Dear Gregory:

You are welcome.

My advice:

1. Minimize the damage done to you and to your son by this woman, the woman you married. Protect yourself and your son from this woman and from her mother. Keep her away from you. Make it so she cannot abuse you, not from close distance (do not agree to live with her, do not support her living close to you), or from afar (do not associate with any friend of hers, with anyone who communicates with her). Do not send her any messages inquiring about her well being. Close the door of your heart and home and do not let her in.

“How did I went wrong here”, you asked me. You went wrong marrying her. I suppose you were very attracted to her physically, so much so, that you didn’t see her heart. Fix it best you can by ending the marriage practically, most important, and legally if it is possible and if there is an advantage in doing so.

2. “Ntge… is saying if I want her back then I should return her son.. and give her and we sit down and sort out the case”-

– no, do not give your son to her or to anyone. Remember you gave away 150 cows as a payment for the marriage with this woman. Don’t give your son the same way, as a payment for this marriage.

Do what is right for your son. He doesn’t need a mother who parties  and  sleeps with men in hotels while he, the son, stays with his grandmother who practices witchcraft.

(If Ntge is your estranged wife’s friend- she should not be your friend. Have no contact with her or her friends or anyone who has contact with her).

“My answer was/ is I will not be fooled to .. bring my son back to such people whose heart is hard”- I agree. Their closed hearts will hurt your son badly.

– Your son is not staying with you currently- who is he staying with?

anita