Honestly, when my mother told me she used those words, I was taken aback because in my mind I have broken my back trying to make her happy. From what she said to my mother

• I don’t call her every day to check how they are doing. They are aging and parents of the guy I am married to so it’s my responsibility to take care of them. Her statement is absolutely right – I do not call them as much as I used to. Here is a context to what led to this change: I used to call her very consistently after we got married in Jan 2016 but in October 2016 when she had a fight with my husband she said something to me that I can never forget. Call it my bad luck but I called her right after my husband, and she had a fight. I wasn’t at home at that point. When I called her I sensed her tone was different, so I asked – If everything was ok? She snapped at me and said her son has changed after getting married to me and that he had never snapped at her until that day. After that she went on to say – sometimes she wonders if he behaved that way because he is unhappy in the marriage and taking out his frustration like this. I did tell her to ask her son about this and let me know if that is the case. I took a step back after that and maintained very formal contact with her.
• Here is another example: When I was visiting her in India something happened between us, and she felt disrespected. This was at a party where she asked me to go upstairs and bring something. Since she had already sent me three times to get stuff, I asked her if she is sure there is nothing else that she needs because I didn’t have a phone on me. She said no and was absolutely normal throughout the evening. However, when we got back home, she got mad at me in front of the whole family (my father-in-law, my sister in law and my husband) because she felt disrespected with how I asked (my tone) the question in front of guests. When I apologized and told her I didn’t mean to be disrespectful all she said was “Haven’t your parents taught you anything, learn from your sister in law how to behave.” At that point, I was too exhausted to fight, but I felt hurt because honestly, I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful.
• Right at the beginning of our marriage I would tell my husband to make me speak with his parents after he was done talking to them. And I don’t think she knows, but I have heard how exactly she would speak of me at that point “ Why are you telling her to talk, she should call us on her own.” “I don’t want to talk to her. I am too tired.”
• When I got a job in 2018, I called her a zillion times, but she never answered my call or returned the request for two days, so I did the next best thing. I left her a text informing about how thrilled I am since I finally landed a job after 25 interviews she didn’t call me, but she did leave me a text saying “congratulations.” She told my mom she felt disrespected with this. I should have called her to inform her about this.