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Hi Anita,
my names callum and I’m a biology student. I used to be the exact same person as you and the only thing that got me through this was support of others. Just want you to know you’re not alone and anything is possible, physically and mentally. The brain and body grows new cells everyday and watch this time next year you’ll be a new person, seek medical, social and all forms of help you’re not alone I’m here friend callumsmith123178@gmail.com is my email to communicate. I went from the deep despair of suicidal thoughts to living a much much more fulfill productive and happy life. But it doesn’t happen in a moment, no one can do it alone, get help first and forget any goals for now and just try a way to live in the moment and appreciate what you have because it’s all we got
all love callum