Dear Kylee:

You are welcome. “I just want to trust my judgment and know that even if the relationship has ended I will heal and find someone else”- but don’t just find someone else, learn who each someone else is before getting intimately involved with him, that way you make your evaluation, or judgment of him, before you get hurt.

“what if I meet someone else and I .. express myself and then they don’t accept what I have to say”- that will not hurt much if it happens before getting intimately involved, it will feel less personal. You will simply learn if a particular man is a good idea to be in a relationship with, or not.

Good thing you did something you never did before, “truly end a relationship”, this is assertive and healthy, unlike to “stick around until the other person ended it”. Good thing you “truly want to move on from old patterns!” You learned and made a change. Keep learning, keep changing so to make your life better and better.

“I feel slight guilt from ending relationship because I think wow maybe I didn’t see his side of things”- it feels uncomfortable to change behavior, but if you endure the discomfort, the new behavior will feel comfortable over time. (And it is good that you considered first your side of things).

“guys don’t like when we express ourselves in that way or put it on them”- guys don’t like it when they are nagged, or talked to on and on and on. Or when they are blamed for what they are not responsible for. Women don’t like it either. But effective communication is different from nagging and false blaming.

anita